The Beginning
by ebbtide
Summary: AU. What if Liam had come on the plane? How would this have changed Charlie's story? WARNING: There is mention of drug use!
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Beginning

Authoress: Ebbtide

Note: AU. What if Liam had gone with Charlie on the flight. How would that have changed Charlie. WARNING, drug use. A Charliecentric piece.

Disclaimer: Don't own this show…wish I did…then I would be able to- well, just wish I did. Lol.

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There was nothing more that he could do. Charlie Pace turned into the sudden torrent of tropical rain. Coldness seemed to course through him instead of over him. He didn't feel the water as it fell in sheets against his body. He didn't hear the others call out to him from under their makeshift shelters. He only felt the cold shadow that settled over his heart.

They had been here almost five hours and still no one had come. This itself didn't bother Charlie. He was still too high to be bothered by much of anything. The druggie looked down quickly at this thought and carefully wiggled his foot to make sure that the bag of precious powder was still in his shoe. It was gone.

He dropped to the ground, ignoring the confused stares he was getting. He ripped of his checkered shoe and frantically felt inside for the drug that had to be there. It wasn't. Then he remembered. He remembered being pursued by the flight attendants as he rushed to an empty bathroom for his fix. He hadn't been able to wait for the plane to reach L.A. Charlie hung his head and watched as the rain trickled off his chin and into the shoe he still held in one hand.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Liam should have been on the plane with him. Then drive Shaft would have– . This thought trailed away and his mind when blank. Charlie froze in absolute terror as he realized that Liam had been on the plane. His brother had agreed to come back for a week to help Charlie get a solo act off the ground. He was on the plane. He was on the plane. This thought ran in a loop through his mind until the reality of it hit home at last. Liam wasn't under any of the shelters.

Standing up Charlie took off running towards the fuselage. His shoe still held in one hand. When he got there it took all of his courage to look into the faces of the people in there. The site was heartbreaking and Charlie felt both sick from the sight of so much death, and relieved that none of these people were Liam. The young rock star turned back and started frantically searching through all of the wreckage. He checked every last body. His brother wasn't there.

With a sob Charlie fell to his knees and scanned the beach once more. His brother was not there. In the deepest part of his soul, the part that still felt pain and loneliness no matter how much drugs he took, in that part of him, Charlie knew that Liam was dead. A dark emptiness filled him and he felt tears mingle with the rain on his cheeks. He felt his body wrack with giant sobs of grief. A grief he couldn't feel yet because of the drug high…A grief he hated himself for causing.

The rain stopped just as suddenly as it had started. Charlie heard people talking and moving around the beach once more, but he didn't look up. If he could have he wouldn't have been able to see anything through the tears. It was his fault. If he hadn't of went to Sydney, Liam's daughter would still have a father. This whole thing was his fault.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

Charlie looked up to find the doctor bending over him in concern.

"Yeah….No…I don't – I can't…I can't find my brother." Charlie could feel his whole body shaking and he wrapped his wet hoodie closer around him. "We were on the plane together. Flying from Sydney to L.A. He didn't even want to come. I made him…I made him come. It's all my fault! I shouldn't have dragged him back into this. This is all my fault!"

"Calm down. Just calm down, you're in shock." The doctor said, gently leading Charlie over to a piece of the wreckage. They both sat down.

"What's your name?" Charlie asked wiping the tears away with a shaking hand.

"Jack."

"Well, Jack, thanks for your help and all, but nothing's going to fix this."

Jack studied him carefully. "We don't know for sure if your brother is really dead."

Charlie looked up sharply. "He wasn't in the fuselage and I can't find – and he isn't on the beach either."

"That doesn't mean anything. I came to in the jungle a couple of hundred yards in. We can go out and look for him. He may be hurt and that's why he hasn't come back on his own."

Charlie nodded and stood up. "Okay, if you really think there's a chance."

"There's always a chance. I'll go get some of the others to help us."

"Great…Thanks, Jack."

"No problem…" Jack looked over questioningly.

"Charlie, Charlie Pace."

"No problem, Charlie Pace. Take it easy."

Charlie watched as the man walked towards a group of other survivors who were huddled around a fire trying to get warm. A few minutes later Jack, Charlie, Kate, Michael and Boone were all introduced and out in the jungle looking for Liam. The younger Pace felt his hope growing as he scouted out the thick forest of bamboo with the others. Their encouragement made him almost positive that he would find his brother alive.

"Over here! I found someone over here!"

Everyone ran in the direction of Boone's call and Charlie felt sick at the site that greeted them. Liam lay on the ground, his left arm and leg obviously broken, a piece of metal was sticking out of his neck. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. The others watched in silence as Charlie knelt down next to him and touched his arm. Blue eyes flashed open.

"Charlie!"

Charlie pulled Liam into his arms and whispered soothingly. "I'm here, brother. I'm right here." He watched as the older man coughed up blood and struggled to communicate.

"I'm sorry – I'm sorry for everything, Charlie."

"Shhhh, you've got nothin' to be sorry for." Charlie felt the tears burn his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"Forgive me, little brother."

Liam coughed violently and then collapsed back into his arms. "I never – I never meant to…to hurt you, Charlie. You were always my baby brother. It just got…it got all – out of control. Forgive me."

"Of course, Liam. . .but don't, don't talk now, you're going to be fine. You'll be fine. Liam…Liam!"

The others watched and everyone knew that Liam would never answer. Jack looked away, there would have been nothing that could have been done. Charlie shoulders heaved as held the body of his brother in his arms.

It shouldn't have ended this way. All of this was wrong. None of this was suppose to be happening. Charlie wanted to scream these things, but he couldn't. The drug high was gone, only reality was there. A reality he didn't want to face.

"Don't leave me alone here, Liam, please."

He cried into his brother's chest. How could he live without his brother to help him through the withdrawal that would start in a few hours. The grief he would carry with him forever and the guilt. How could he do this.

Charlie looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jack was kneeling next to him, they were all kneeling in a circle around him. Their eyes didn't hold pity or fear, but understanding and for a second Charlie almost felt safe with them.

"You don't have to be alone here, Charlie." A tear ran down Jack's face. "My father died in Sydney, I was on the plane to bring his body back…I know what it feels like, Charlie, and I want to tell you that I will – we will all be here for you."

The doctor looked around the circle as if to belatedly ask permission for volunteering the others. Everyone nodded in agreement. Kate edged forward and squeezed Charlie's hand. She didn't say anything, but the young man could see the understanding in her eyes.

Charlie looked down at the body in his arms. It was quickly becoming cold and stiff. The undeniable fact that his life, his entire world as he had known it was ending.

"I don't – I don't know what to do, guys." He whispered, looking up for help. He had never even been around a dead body before and now seeing his brother and knowing that he was gone felt like almost too much. "I need help."

"We're here for you, Charlie." Jack said comfortingly.

Charlie shook his head and carefully lay his brother's body on the ground so that he could back away. He had to tell them, he needed someone to help him through what he knew lay ahead.

"No, no, this is different. I – I have problems." He wasn't quite sure how to explain to them what he needed from them. "It's a medical problem…sorta."

"What? Are you alright. What is it?" The doctor demanded intently.

Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down at his brother as he answered. "I'm a – I'm an addicted. You know, a druggie. It's heroin, I thought I had some on me but…my withdrawal will be starting in a couple of hours. I just don't think I can handle it with Liam – . " He couldn't finish.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

NOTE FROM EBBTIDE: I'm sorry that this chapter was so short. Let me know what you think of the story. R & R!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money off of it, didn't come up with it myself.

The next morning was clear and sunny. Almost too good of weather, at least that's what Kate thought. The fugitive still could not believe that they had really crashed. There was no way that they were stuck on an island…in the middle of nowhere…with a monster in the forest.

No one had been able to get any sleep the night before after the strange sound had echoed through the valley. Kate grinned at someone's comment on it being monkeys. There was no way that several thousand monkeys could make that kind of sound. At least, she didn't think so.

"What's so funny?"

Kate shrugged her hair out of the way and turned to face Charlie, who had stubbornly insisted on accompanying her and Jack to go out looking for the cockpit. He wasn't shaking as bad since Jack had been able to find a stash of heavy-duty pain medication in someone's carry-on bag. Even with that though, the man didn't look very well.

"I was just thinking about that Thing last night. Some of the stuff that people thought it was…ridiculous." She giggled.

Jack heard it and turned back to them. "Something going on between you two I should know about?" he asked in mock suspicion.

Charlie and Kate shared a look and then burst into laughter. It was the first time that either of them had seen Charlie smile. The mood lightened considerably by the time they had reached a wide open, green hillside. Kate frowned though when she heard Charlie humming a tune under his breath. It seemed so familiar and after a few seconds of thinking about it she realized that he did to. She stopped and turned to him.

"Have we met before?" She asked.

He picked up a stick and absently fingered it. "No, that would be unlikely."

She nodded and continued up the hill.

"But I look familiar, right?" He asked. There was a smile in his voice.

"Yep."

"Alright, I think I've got it…" He took a deep breath. "You all everybody, you all everybody!"

Kate stopped again and turned around. She could not believe that he had just sung the chorus to You All Everybody.

"You know that song right?" Charlie asked with a smile.

"Yeah, but what does –."

"That's us – Drive Shaft."

"You were in Drive Shaft?"

"I am in Drive Shaft. I play bass, and do backing vocals…on a couple of tracks."

Kate shook her head. "No way! My friend Beth would freak, she loved you guys."

"Well, give me Beth's number, I'll call her…I'd love to. Does she live nearby?"

"Hey Jack, have you ever heard of Drive Shaft?" Kate shouted forward to the doctor.

Jack didn't stop walking. "We got to keep moving."

Kate started up the hill. "They were really good." She said softly.

Charlie hung back a moment. "We are good. We're still together." He threw the stick away. "In the middle of a comeback actually."

It was another hour before they made it to the cockpit. The large piece of plane was leaning hazardously against a tree. Kate knew that somewhere inside of there was the transceiver…she also knew that there would be bodies, probably dead bodies. She swallowed hard, but stepped in right behind Jack when he motioned them forward. Out of the edge of her eye Kate saw Charlie climb behind her up the steep slope of the plane isle.

She had been right. Half a dozen dead bodies were still strapped to their seats. Blood was everywhere, mixing with the rainwater that was filtering in from some of the broken windows. She slip and slid her way up the isle and pulled herself the last few feet. Jack picked up a fire extinguisher and tried to slam his way through the locked door separating them from the pilot's section of the plane. She readied herself for whatever they might find while searching for the transceiver.

Charlie hung back as the other two ventured into the cockpit. He had been more frightened by the co-pilot's body than he would've ever admitted to anyone. Seeing it had reminded him of Liam's tortured body. Tears stung at the young man's eyes, but he didn't cry. If Kate could take this, then so could he. At least, that's what he kept telling himself. Inside, he knew that he was nothing but a coward.

Jack read the expression on his face. "You don't have to come up here if you don't want to." The doctor nodded in understanding when Charlie didn't move to join him. "We'll be out of here as soon as me and Kate find the transceiver. Hang in there, Charlie."

Charlie watched as they both disappeared into the other section of he plane leaving him alone. The rock star looked down at his hands and saw that they were still shaking. For a second he had almost forgot about the heroin. He wiped a hand across his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. He needed Liam. His brother was the only person on the planet that could have understood what he felt like. Liam never would have left him alone with his pain. Almost without thinking, Charlie found himself clambering into the cockpit, just to be near someone who wasn't dead.

Kate sat in the empty co-pilot seat, Jack was behind her looking through a small storage cabinet. The pilot's seat and window were covered in an arc of blood.

"What do you think happened?" He felt nauseous from the smell, but the others didn't seemed to have noticed and they continued searching.

"I don't know. Maybe it was that thing we heard last night. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, though. He might've been thrown through the window when the plane crashed."


End file.
